It's Too Late To Apologize [Eva]

[Orion Voltaire]

Orion didn't really have any reason to be in London. For the past three and a half weeks he'd been in Detroit. He'd gone back to public school, he was hanging out with old friends, playing football in the junkyard (which was incredibly dangerous).

The one thing he hadn't done the entire time he'd been back?

Taken a hit.

The entire reason for his and Angee's fight--for their break-up as far as he was concerned--was because he'd wanted meth and she didn't want him to have it. Now that he had the chance, he just kept hearing her voice, seeing her face. He just couldn't fcuking do it.

But he couldn't go back yet.

Ryan wasn't ready to go back. He couldn't face her. Angee. God he'd fcuking hit her. He'd hit her and he'd said some really fcuking awful things to her. He'd really fcuked up.

Apologizing to her did no good--he'd watched her walk away from him while he apologized. No, a sorry did him no good right now.

Being back in London made him feel strange. He felt like he should have a reason, like he should be meeting someone. For the first time since he was a kid he felt like an outsider in England. People looked at him and he swore they just knew what he'd done. They could see right through him and just know.

Mothers glared, girlfriends held onto their boyfriends a little tighter, kids gave him weird stares, father's pulled their daughters away. None of this was really happening of course. It was all in his imagination. No one was walking away from him, no one knew, no one could tell.

But he knew.

That was bad enough.

[Eva McCorkle]

Eva was just taking a weekend off. She was staying back at home for the weekend, and taking a break from being a witch. Strange? Yes, but she liked having a break every once in a while. It made her appriciate her life all that much more once she went back. So she was wandering muggle london, pushing Abby in a little stroller, in an exceptionally good mood. It felt good to be back on her feet, without a huge round stomach anymore.

At the moment she was windowshopping, attempting not to spend too much of her money of uselessness. But window shopping was one of her favorite pasttimes, something she could never get Angee to do with her. Ang couldn't take just looking at stuff, cuase when she wanted something, she had to have it. Instant gratuity, that was her sister.

She'd heard about Orion, what had happened. Heard that he'd gone back home. So the last place she'd expected to find him was muggle London, but there he was, walking right towards her. She stopped, staring at him, not even saying a word. Instinctively, she picked Abby up out of the stroller and held her close, keeping an eye on Ryan.

[Orion Voltaire]

Orion was almost in a daze right now. He didn't pay attention to the glares he got for walking in front of someone and cutting them off. Didn't care about the curse words thrown his way from angry men when he bumped their shoulders. Didn't even pay attention when a girl--a very cute girl--tried to get his attention. After so long just walking around--he'd blocked them all out.

Which was why he was surprised when someone caught his eye.

He knew that face. God damnit. It wasn't Angee but it was close enough. It was Eva--but holy shit. She had a kid in a stroller. Since when had Abby been born? Aidan hadn't even cared to fcuking tell him? Granted he'd left without even mentioning it to him but he would've at least expected a letter or something. Anything to say "hey my daughter was born" at least. Even a "dickhead, you're an uncle now" would've sufficed.

Son of a bitch.

Ryan visibly winced as Eva lifted her daughter into her arms when he got closer. That hurt. He deserved it, but that hurt. Still, he continued toward her, stopping in front of her and just standing there for a minute. You could easily tell the guy hadn't had an easy few weeks--and you could also tell he hadn't been on any shit.

"I'm not--Eva I wouldn't--" But how would she know that? Hadn't she thought he'd never attack her sister either? Fcuking hell he'd gotten himself into one big fcuking mess. He tugged his hands into his pockets and looked at the ground, shuffling his feet a bit before looking back up at her. There was a lost sort of look in his eye and he couldn't figure it out.

He'd gone home--he'd had every chance to do what he'd gone home to do--and yet he hadn't. He hadn't touched the shit and he didn't plan on it. He couldn't. Shrugging a bit he shook his head.

"I didn't mean to hurt her Eva." That was partly true. At the time, he'd had every intention of hurting her--but at the time he hadn't really been thinking clearly. "I--you don't have to worry. She won't take me back. She's done with it. Done with me."

[Eva McCorkle]

Eva was Aidan's girlfriend, which meant that it only took her one look to tell that Ryan wasn't on anything. She'd learned to be able to tell, and Orion definitely hadn't been using. But if he hadn't been using and he hadn't come back, then what the hell had he been doing? He had a lost look in his eye. He clearly hadn't been having it easy since he'd left Hogwarts. Eva had tried to talk to her sister about it, but for one reason or another, Angee simply didn't want to talk. Eva couldn't blame her, really.

She just shook her head as he started to talk. She didnt' want to hear about it. He'd gone after the person he was supposed to love. God knew what else he could do. She looked up and down, biting her lip. What had the world done to this boy? She knew it had been hard on him, but she also couldn't just up and forgive him for beating on her sister.

"You don't deserve her, Ryan," she said softly, hoisting Abby up a little further. "There isnt' a second in your life when you deserve her, but for some reason she's in love with you. And when the person that you love hits you, threatens you with terrible things, it tears a person apart. You've torn her apart, Ryan. And what's worse, you're moping around Detroit instead of doing anything about it. You didn't even use when you came back, Ryan, so just tell me why the hell you still havn't come back."

[Orion Voltaire]

Well if he'd been expecting pity--he'd been wrong. Eva wasn't about to sit around and tell him that everything would be okay and that she understood. He didn't blame her. If he were in her position, he'd probably be beating the shit out of himself right now.

Orion looked back at the ground. That much was true. He didn't deserve her. Not after that. But didn't people get second chances anymore? Hadn't he been decent enough up until then? Aidan fcuked up all the time and he got second, third, tenth, hundereth chances. Why not him? Why couldn't Angee give him one more.

Wait--his eyes snapped up, narrowing a bit. She loved him? Meaning that despite it all she still loved him or had Eva just forgotten to speak in past tense? He winced through the rest of it. It was all true. Every single fcuking word of it was true. There was no use in even trying to deny it--no point at all.

Surprisingly, Eva knew he hadn't done anything. He cocked his head a bit curiously--looking incredibly identical to Aidan when he did (er, they were identical twins...the mannerism is what gave the Aidan impression).

"I can't come back Eva. I walked away. Instead of going after her I walked away. That's all she wanted was for me to stop fcuking walking away from her and I just ... did it anyways. I knew I'd fcuked up and I knew I should've followed her. Eva I can't fix this. I can't come back."

There was no way he could ask Angee to forgive him for this. And if he couldn't even talk to her, he sure as hell wouldn't be able to handle being around her. He couldn't go back. It was too late to apologize anymore.

[Eva McCorkle]

Eva shook her head, looking disgusted with him. "So you're going to just let her go on, thinking that the way she last remembers you is who you are? You want her to live the rest of her life thinking that that was all she was to you? Yeah, you walked away, Orion. But coming back is better than staying away. And you need to shape the hell up because you know what you're saying isn't true. You can come back. You just won't."

She paused, placing Abby back into her stroller. "You used to be like a brother to me, Orion. I used to respect you more than almost anyone. But the Ryan I know wouldn't give up the woman he loves without a fight. Where's that Ryan, huh? Where's the Ryan I've known for so long? I know he's in there somwhere, and when you find him, there's a girl at Hogwarts who loves him and just wants to know that she's loved in return." She shook her head again.

"Think about that, Ryan."

[Orion Voltaire]

Ryan hated to admit it but Eva was right. Instead of wallowing around in his own self-pity for weeks, he should've gone back. He shouldn't have left in the first place but he had--so he should've gone back. He watched her put Abby in her stroller, happy that she at least no longer deemed him a threat to his niece's life. That was a reaction he never wanted to see again.

"I know--I know Eva. God damnit believe me I know." Apparently it was time to tell her what was really bothering him. The real reason he couldn't face her--nor anyone else. She'd have to understand--this was Eva.

Swallowing, he looked around and then at Abigail, smiling at the beautiful baby girl before finally sighing and meeting Eva's eyes.

"She called me Aidan. In her eyes I'm not the guy she's in love with Eva. I'm my fcuking brother for Christ's sake. After two god damn years of trying to straighten his ass up--" He shook his head. "You're right. I've got to come back."

When? He didn't know. But eventually he knew he had to go back.

[Angee McCorkle]

Eva raised her eyebrows at him. He kept saying he knew, but he wasn't doing anything about it, so how could she possible know if that was true or not? She couldn't. She rested a hand on the strollor, waiting for him. She knew very well that he had something to say, she was just waiting for him to voice it.

She closed her eyes for a moment. That had been harsh on Angee's part, but it seeme dto have sent the message. For the love of God, the boy had gone home and was still clean. She shook her head, meeting his eyes. "Like I said. The Ryan she loves, the one who's not like his brother... he's in there somewhere. Just find him. Because that's the Ryan that she's waiting around for."

She nodded. At least he knew he needed to come back. At least she'd been able to talk that much sense into him. She couldn't do more than that. Everything else was totally up to him.

[Orion Voltaire]

The Ryan Angee loved. He'd never known there was more than one of him but he sure as fcuking hell knew now! Apparently this side of him--this "AidanRyan" if you will was the side that shouldn't be accessed unless he wanted castrated. And Lord knew he didn't want that. He was rather attached to his balls, thanks very much.

He'd been gone more than three weeks. Who's to say Angee hadn't gone ahead and shacked up with another guy? More than likely because of himself, but still. Eva was saying that Ang still loved him but he knew all too well that love didn't mean everything. He knew all too fcuking well of that now.

He had to try though. He had to go back. Had to see. Had to talk to her, to apologize one more fcuking time and just see. If Angee still turned him away, he'd leave her be. He'd let her go. But he had to fcuking try.

"Eva I wanna come back with you."

His jaw clenched after he said it, unsure of his decision. This was unusual for him. He was the one who didn't have to worry about shit like this. He shouldn't have to be worried about facing his fcuking girlfriend--if she was indeed, still considering herself that. He wasn't sure. All he knew was that he had to go back. Running away was Aidan's thing and even he hadn't been doing that lately.

No wonder she'd called him by his brother's fcuking name.

They'd switched fcuking roles.

[Eva McCorkle]

Eva was sort of worried. She acted like she knew what she was talking about, and she was pretty sure that what she said about her sister was correct. They weren't twins because they barely knew each other, after all. Still, there was that small chance that Angee wouldn't want to see him yet. But she wasn't going to let this oppurtunity pass. What were the odds that the two of them would meet up in London like this? Eva wasn't willing to mess with fate.

Abby let out a wail and Eva smiled, picking her up and cooing softly to the little girl, glancing up at Ryan every once in a while. He seemed to be having a fairly intense emotional battle, and she was going to just let that be for now.

She nodded, sighing. "If that's what you want, Ryan, you're more than welcome. But you have to promise me you won't fcuk up again. I won't be the one who brought you back just so you could beat on my sister some more."